I just graduated from a good college with a degree in fine arts. I’ve been considering hooking up with a “Sugar Daddy” from a site like www.seekingarrangement.com, to help me start my art career. I know if I can just get started, I will make it as an artist quickly, and then I can find someone and get into a real “love” relationship.

The reason I’m writing to you is because my best friend is saying she doesn’t want to know me if I do this. We went to college together and now that I have a plan like this, I think she’s jealous. What do you think, how should I handle this with her? I wish I’d never told her, but now she’s been asking me if I’ve signed up on the site.

Thanks!

-Sugar Baby

Dear Baby-

You’re missing one important, essential ingredient: R-E-A-L-I-T-Y. Think about this, you will be trading your making art for sex. Which means you’ll be selling your body, not your work.

I also get a sense of defensiveness in your self-assurance you “will make it as an artist quickly”. Andt  your sense that your friend is “jealous”. If your work was really that good or if you believed it was that good, why would you need an ‘art-for-sex’ deal? A lot of promising students have galleries and serious interest in their work before they leave school.

I suspect that you are trying to take the easy way out. And if you really want to make it as an artist, or in pretty much any successful career, that doesn’t exist. Ask yourself if you are really committed to your work. Are you motivated to make art?

Many artists start careers working in galleries, coffee shops, etc. until they can make a living off their work or otherwise. I suggest you look into the backgrounds of many well-known women artists you admire and find some good role models. And I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that being attractive and charming is helpful in furthering ones career, but it won’t sell unworthy work to any intelligent collector.

One of the smart choices that you’ve made is in your friend. Hold on to that friend, you’re going to need her.

LOVE U!

-Dr. Lisa